this much was true
by Yui Miyamoto
Summary: Robin's thoughts after Amon has finally revealed what he really thinks about her. (note: episode 15 spoilers)


disclaimer: Witch Hunter Robin isn't the possession of Miyamoto Yui. She's just an admirer of the series, especially of Robin, Amon, and Micheal.  
  
Note: Spoilers for episode 15. You have been warned. ^_^  
  
"You are. Though you may deny it, you know you are," the woman said as she pointed at me with an accusatory tone.  
  
I looked around me as they held torches around me. My mouth opened, but when I shouted, I had no voice. I grabbed my throat and looked at everyone in horror as they came closer and closer to me.  
  
"You have no alibi. How could you prove you're truly human?"  
  
"I can't!" I wanted to shout back.  
  
Abruptly, I got up from the couch and took a deep breath as beads of sweat came down my face.  
  
Tears started to form in my eyes.   
  
"No, I'm not…"   
  
I tried to convince to myself, but I hugged my knees not knowing what to think.  
  
this much was true.  
  
By miyamoto yui  
  
Michael smiled at me when I asked, for the second time, if I should make coffee because his coffee cup was empty. I wanted to smile back at him, but I just couldn't, so I nodded my head and proceeded to make coffee to the side of the office.  
  
I didn't know why I always did things like that.  
  
Whenever something important came up, when I know I should shout or voice my opinion, I end up shutting up like some coward. But I knew I wasn't a coward at all.  
  
I was just shy. I was just so used to being quiet that that would always get me into even more trouble, especially with Amon.  
  
Even when I should react or not feel sorry for myself, I'd look like it.  
  
I hated myself for it.  
  
BOOM!  
  
The office was being invaded and I kept on looking around, trying to think of what to do.  
  
I gasped as Karugawa-san shouted at me to escape. But before I had known it, I was being cornered.  
  
Save them or save yourself? I didn't want to leave them!  
  
"Ah!" I fell to the ground and an image of Amon staring me down while the troops came in kept me shaken on the ground. I was frozen and I felt so stupid for not doing as they had said.  
  
They were trying their best to protect me and I got them mixed up in this mess.  
  
At that moment, there was another explosion and smoked covered the room. Amon appeared out of nowhere and took my hand while commanding for me to follow him. But when I looked into his face, I remembered what Master had said to me, "Trust Amon. He wouldn't betray anyone."  
  
I gripped onto that hand with that hope.  
  
As we were running away and going further and further down the stairs, he told me about his last partner Kate. He told me how he _had_ to kill her.  
  
He didn't betray her at all. Betrayal was based on mutual trust and if that wasn't there, then he couldn't have betrayed her at all. That's what I understood as much.  
  
It was a job he had to do, and if he didn't, then the secrets of their organization would be exposed. A typical plot for an action movie, don't you think?  
  
But no, it wasn't.  
  
She wanted to die in the end, not really wanting to know the truth. When she got a hold of some of it, she didn't want to deal with it. This was something I couldn't understand.  
  
Isn't that ironic?   
  
I looked at Amon, and I didn't understand after all this time did he come all the way for me. To tell me all this face-to-face with these unfamiliar eyes that I had never seen before.  
  
The only eyes I had seen were cold, dark ones that held no emotion whatsoever.   
  
The only time he had that expression on his face was when he was with Touko-san. In the rain, I watched them across the bridge and stopped walking.  
  
I was a little jealous. A little by the fact that he was so close to her and that he looked like he would say so many things to her. He'd keep a conversation with her.   
  
Some part of me had gotten mad at the fact that I was his partner, but I knew nothing at all.  
  
I always felt like I was desparately watching him from a television, pounding and screaming with no way of knowing how much he had hurt me. Or that I was crying because I wanted to break through his internal wall that he wouldn't let me through.  
  
But now…  
  
After all the times he had scolded me…  
  
After all the times he looked at me because I had wasted his time…  
  
After all the times he had made me feel so useless next to him…  
  
At this dangerous time, why was it this was the time I would feel closest to him?  
  
He asked me if I could break a wall and I said I could, but when I did, he was pushing a button to open an underground passage through a well.  
  
As always, when I should have done as he wanted, I stopped to question him. For the first time, I was expressing something that I normally would have kept inside of myself. "But you trusted me?"  
  
It was then that I looked into his eyes. I didn't look away as I usually did, but I truly stared deep into them this time.   
  
These eyes seemed as if they weren't real at all, and certainly not Amon's. No, they were kind…  
  
He didn't want to ignore the order for me to be hunted.  
  
I looked at him in shock about to cry, but there was no time to do that. I ran to him because I wanted to leave with him.  
  
You are my partner.  
  
If I sacrifice you, then wouldn't I be as guilty as any Witch?   
  
The being I was scared of…  
  
…and yet that same blood flowed through my veins.  
  
He then took my shoulder and told me, "I never believed you were a Witch."  
  
Again, I felt like I couldn't breath.  
  
Why were you telling me this now?  
  
He told me to go through the well's passage and as I was going down, he came with me. I thought he was coming with me, but he leaned towards me. And we were touching cheek to cheek.  
  
I looked into his eyes.   
  
Unexpectedly gentle…  
  
I felt his breath on my ear as he pushed a piece of paper into my hair as he said, "Contact this person if anything happens to me."  
  
My eyes opened wide as he climbed back up. I shook my head and protested as he told me to go. Pushing me inside, the passage closed and I held out my hands to pound on the wall between us.  
  
But when I heard the gunshots, I slipped down against the wall and began crying.  
  
I wasn't crying only for my co-workers…  
  
I wasn't crying only for Amon…  
  
I wasn't crying only for myself…  
  
All this time that I thought he hated me so much and thought so little of me, he would be the one to save me. He would be the one that trusted me.  
  
Amon was the one who had believe in me the most.  
  
With this thought, I wiped my tears away and kept my hands in determined fists. I ran as fast as I could towards the way he had told me to go.  
  
Tap tap tap tap tap….  
  
Over and over, I could hear your voice whispering to me as I ran, "I never believed you were a Witch."  
  
Why…  
  
Why was it _you_ telling me the thing that I most needed to hear after all this time?  
  
I kept on telling myself I was human and yet people seemed to treat me differently anyway.  
  
I believed I was human with a heart that bled and felt for other people even when they told me I shouldn't have that kind of emotion inside of me.  
  
They kept on telling me I was a witch…  
  
…and shamefully, I was starting to believe that.  
  
I always stood in the middle of crowded places feeling so alone, not knowing who or what I was, maybe deceiving myself that I wanted to be human after all…  
  
"You have to endure anything," the Inquistor had told me.  
  
I passed by a puddle of water on the ground and one of my tears disrupted my reflection.  
  
With a determined face, I kept on going.  
  
That's what my definition of being human was.   
  
You had to endure everything…  
  
…even when the enemy was yourself.  
  
Comforted by Amon's words, I took a deep breath and ran with clarity in my eyes.  
  
No matter what, I was human.  
  
And I wasn't alone anymore.  
  
Now, no one could ever tell me otherwise.   
  
I never believed in a lot of things in the world and I always questioned what was around me.  
  
But I knew this much was true.  
  
Owari.  
  
--  
  
author's note: Usually, I do not write insert fics which focus on a particular episode. I only do so when I feel that something has been totally glossed over, such as Shuichi's rape scene in Gravitation. But, all in all, I try to make pre or post manga/anime fics.  
  
I just felt so touched by this episode that I knew I had to write about it. I do realize there may be a million people writing for this particular scene and that mine may be no different. (Because of this, I feel kind of frustrated at myself.) I just hope I was able to delve and give a unique perspective. Or at least, an emotional one. 


End file.
